Why I Have So Many Drafts

I have 450 email drafts on my gmail account.  I think that's in the DSM for some sort of illness.  Not positive which one...

Why?  I am an artist.  Do I practice any fine arts?  No.  Am I a musician?  Potentially, but only if it's late at night and you are in a generous mood for meandering yet repetitive piano playing. 

But I am an artist because I am a slave to the "feeling" of authenticity or "nailing it."  So when writing an email (mostly to girls, but also to you, dear reader) I feel the need to feel the flow as I write it. 

And the flow is "not caring", which of course we lead to no drafts, rather than 450 of them.

And here we reach the paradox.  Lots of judgement, little flow, more judgement.

So I've started just writing emails as if I will never send them.  I'll post one in a second - I find it hilarious, insightful, and something else really positive.  Hence I will never send it. 

I've spent the last couple days trying to write a message to a potentially interesting, but definitely attractive woman.  It is impossible.  Awesomely impossible.  I feel like celebrating just how difficult, long, and impossible the process has been.  Which is exactly opposite of the ideal relationship.  Not diffcult.  Not long (feeling).  And definitely not impossible.

Doubts upon doubts.  Can we call them distractions from the path?

So we have:

THE PATH
THE PATH FINDERS
THE DISTRACTIONS

The last one admittedly sounds the least lost-like.  Maybe "THE BANDITS".  Because every great adventure involves bandits - and sometimes they win.  Fortunately, there are paths everywhere, if only from the bandits home to yours.

Its a metaphor buddy.  Feel it before you think it.  All will be clear...

- 29