update on the girl

Update on the girl:

I found her online (welcome 21st century!) and sent her a message.  A long message.  Funy, interesting, complimentary, daring...

Except all of those things say something else: trying.  TRYING.  There is no trying.  The fact you found her online is ALL THE TRYING YOU AT MOST POSSIBLY WANT TO CONVEY.  The message after finding?  "Think we danced together Saturday night.  Ahhhh.... the magic of facebook." 

That's it.  NOT the three paragraphs following it. 

You know this stuff.  Here's the mind-fuck for me, though: why the fuck should the length of message matter?  How can it possibly be the determinants of romance, reproduction (and welcome evolution), and fun could be so... meaningless?  Our heuristics are meant to deal with a world we actually know very little about.  The more we use heuristics rather the world itself (okay, more "as things are if we got to know them more fully), the more important less meaningful things come.  Of course, she did say she liked me because I had a hat on.  That just isn't the way...

Unless you want to have fun.  Which I do.  So soldier on with the heuristics.  A necessary step towards truth - you can't sell a book without a cover.  But a shitty book is still a shitty book - whether or not anyone buys it.

Inside. Outside.  It's just that I find so much (metaphysical?) meaning in connecting with someone - it's just always disturbing to think the role heuristics and psychological ticks play in forging that connection.  But what else can their be?  To denounce superficiality is to denounce humanity - I read that somewhere (I even think it was Kant, who could never have actually believed it; probably just interviewed by a reporter). 

And so it goes.  No missed opportunity burns me as much as with a girl.  God only knows why.

-29
p.s. Hey Pat.  Did I tell you I'm teaching myself the guitar?  Cliche, meet self.