Going OUT!

Big money!

The pros and cons of "going out."

FIRSTLY,

What is "going out"?  It's something that my parents don't do.  It's something that people in relationships generally do not do (unless they are really cool).  It involves being around lots of strangers.  It can involve drinking and dancing, one of which is free and the other which could be kind of expensive.

It involves "wingmen" except when you don't have one.  It can involve being in a new place with "friends," or an old place with a drink.  It involves getting away from everyday worries and replacing them with other ones, like "How do I look?" and "Is she too young for me?" or more importantly "Does she think I'm too old for her?"

It involves being uncomfortable.  It involves feeling lots of emotions - good, bad, otherwise.  It's about evolutionarily putting yourself "out there."  And since people don't actually kill one another these days, it generally feels better than you think it will.

But what about TONIGHT?

Working at cafe. Attractive girls all around.  The curse of SB.

But do I WANT to go out?  Or would I rather just work, play guitar, and sleep?

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS. 

But when I don't want to do something I "should" do I get a feeling in my stomach.  Not a good one.  And I know, I know, I know...

So I guess why do I want to go out?  And yet don't?  Other than the fact that Maverick 3,000 miles away?  DAMN YOU MAVERICK!!!!!!

It's gotten so bad that I freak out at the idea of seeing an old flame.  That's weak-sauce, born of not building my social muscles recently.  Maybe I should just drink more. 

THOUGHTS???  I want real-time feedback, damnit. 

Or here's another one:  How to get yourself to do EXACTLY what you don't want to do?  How to turn that churn into a positive BURN??  Yes, I am applying for inspirational speaker positions.

TURN THE CHURN INTO BURN!!!!!!  Write that down.  Everybody.

Because that would be the best.  The CHURN.  Although one reasonable reason not to - I HATE going out to meet girls.  Because it just feels so... so low-status.  And going out to "see what is going on" also.  And I hate that feeling.  Totally self-defeating attitudes, seriously.

Okay, back to coding... that's right.  I am part of the FUTURE!

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