why so serious?

everyone knows how little we know, and how little we seem to mean in the scheme of things. does this mean we should just keep ourselves distracted for as long as possible. I'd rather stare into the void. try to glean something. I cant accept that all of these thoughts are rationalizations anymore- the ones that say that doing anything is useless. maybe it's just that what we're actually doing is useless. it doesn't mean that everything we do will be useless. that's bad logic. when confronted with the nothing we turn our heads and laugh a little too loudly to the person next to us. if we don't run, then we're left to sit as the only set of rules we know for determining worth have calculated that all of our friends have surpassed us and our potential is untapped and wasted. setting out to change the rules is scary. because if we FAIL, we sink to some of the lowest possible values on this human scale. we were useless dreamers, or idiotic time-wasters. we are talked about with wistful regret at relative gatherings, not a cautionary tale for young children but a cautionary tale for everyone at the party- don't stare too deeply into space, or you will miss out on all these things we have decided are good. remove the relatives and how do we feel about ourselves? probably not so bad. I mean think about it. you get to the end of your life and you haven't discovered anything, done anything, have no family, no accomplishments worth noting. and there you are. and still, I bet you all the money in the world, you look back on it all and say 'that was pretty fun.' and I mean no matter WHAT you did with your time. because at the end there IS no more running, no more turning away. at the end there's no more point to doing all that. you're at the finish line. so you look right into the abyss and all you feel is thankful. so why oh why, do we panic so much? why do we scramble if we are supposed to be the smart ones, impervious to social bullets? why can't we brave the abyss for our entire lives and never regret one moment of it? stare into the sun, and then stare past it. why so serious?