Stuff to Do, Stuff to Read

Dreaming dreamers dream lightly.

So let's dream, shall we?

Dreams dreams dreams... what are they?

a) To have a family.

b) To constantly be social and meeting people.

c) To be not afrid of shaing myself to other people.  Not perfect, but not bad.  Or there's a lot of ways of sharing that isn't really relevant to good vs. bad.

d) To be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

e) To live by the ocean, surf everyday, and become a total hippie in the water.  relaxed, understanding, balanced, joyful, and not stressed.

f) To read.  To read the hell out of stuff.  To enjoy the good stuff...

g) To get smarter.  Like real smart.  Like smarty pants smart.  Like smart at the kind of stuff you're good at and interested in.

h) To get paid to play music.  Fuck that.  To play music over time following your muse, listening to teachers, building your musicianship, and getting all hippy about music.  Shit, I see a pattern.

other things...

to be emotionally open.

to fix my nose.

to reconnect with friends, and find a way of doing that without feeling deeply hamed and lame.

to bring my deep and abiding love of psychology to improve the world and find something i'm good at and can focus on.

to be productive, and then to relax... deeply.

to engage my dream life more... same with imagination.

to go from the abstract tot eh real.  to see the abstract in the real.  sort of letter on humanisms.  SEE HOW THAT JUST WORKED?

to figure out how to explain my life without including the phrases "i suck."  or perhaps that's the point.  just embrace and move on?  i mean some people have cancer, drug addictions.  i have at times, "suckiness."  but this is all moot until the suckiness goes.  i think.  argh.

to keep reading.  did i already mention that?  not to let these floating fuckers get in the way.

to become self-sufficient and very REAL about money, including the fact about how little it means.

to move to a major city.  MAJOR.  new york or la or bust.  is that short-sighted?

to push it.  to involve everyone i can on making things better.  youcan't do it alone.  more importantly, why would you want to?  you will need to depend on others, point blank.  and if those others are paid, like someday people may pay you, then more power to you. 

to be able to snap out of it.

to consume the best of culture, not the worst.  i'm looking at you, internet.

to keep reading.  let's third this.

to help my parnets into old age.  their happiness matters.  i can contribute to it, emotionally, logistically, and financially. 
to carry a sense of responsibility in my life. 

... more...